


Dad-damned Ape Technology

by Kalua



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, Gen, One Shot, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 16:20:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14937737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalua/pseuds/Kalua
Summary: After most of his Grace was taken, Lucifer has to take care of some basic human needs, much to his chagrin. Luckily, his vessel can provide some insight as to what he should do.





	Dad-damned Ape Technology

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea from this post: https://lucifersgirl1215.tumblr.com/post/173783485023/saviorfromhell-lucifersgirl1215 and liked it.

“So, what now?”, Lucifer grumbled, putting the bread on the table. He still couldn’t believe this. He was an angel, he shouldn’t be feeling hungry like those hairless apes!

“You toast it, Satan. And without this hairless ape in your head, you’d probably be dead.” Lucifer just rolled his eyes at Nick’s response in his head. Sure, maybe he was _right_ , but that didn’t make it any less humiliating.

Ever since Michael took so much of his Grace, Nick had been trying to guide Lucifer through all this human stuff he had to do now. Keep warm, eat, sleep… Why would his Dad favor such weak creatures?

“Hey. Remember I can hear everything you think.”

“Doesn’t make it any less true.” He tore the packaging open – “Lucifer, that’s not the right way to open it.” – and took out two slices of toast. And now… Toast them? Lucifer took one slice in every hand and tried focusing on them. He could smite demons and disintegrate angels; some toast shouldn’t be a problem.

He focused, and… Nothing. “Maybe you should use the toaster”, Nick oh-so-helpfully noted. “It’s that thing over there. With the two toast-shaped holes.”

With a sigh, Lucifer put the toast in the holes and looked at the toaster, which didn’t seem to do anything. “Come on, toast it”, he urged the thing.

Nick seemed to hold back laughter. “You need to turn it on.”

These apes’ things were way too unintuitive. Lucifer picked up the toaster to look at it. Turn it on, great advice. Why didn’t it just listen to his voice? He turned it this way and that, looking at it with furrowed brows. Being human definitely sucked. Since the toaster didn’t react, Lucifer turned it upside-down, but all that happened was the toast falling on the counter.

Now Nick was openly laughing. “You know, for the big bad in the bible, you’re not very threatening”, he said. “Maybe you should let me do this until you’ve got your Grace back. As funny as this is, I’m hungry, too.”

“Okay, _fine_.” Lucifer took a deep breath and handed control back over to his vessel. Only for a while, he told himself, just until he recharged enough to not be this… human.

Nick needed a moment to realize he was actually back in control of his body. Looked around, clenched his fists, stretched his fingers again… How long had it been since he’s said yes to Lucifer? Not that he minded being his passenger, but being able to move again, really move and not just feel Lucifer move his body, was something special.

“Maybe you could marvel about this after we ate something”, Lucifer reminded him.

With a shrug, Nick took the toast, put it in the toaster, and pushed down the lever. “And that’s all you gotta do”, he told Lucifer, a small grin on his face.

The only reply he got were muttered insults and curses in Enochian.

 

Not long afterwards, Nick and Lucifer finally got to eat their toast, peanut butter and Nutella slathered thickly on it. “Come on, Satan”, Nick said after Lucifer had been quiet for a while. “Being human isn’t that terrible once you’re used to it. At least the toast actually tastes like toast now. Pouting is neither very angelic, nor intimidating.”

More muttered Enochian. But at least they got something to eat, and it was only a matter of time until things should be back to normal. Until then, he’d have to rely on Nick.


End file.
